SELF-CENTEREDNESS

Ire saw her friend’s status that had a picture with the statement ‘’raise your hands if you have a friend that is now a stranger’’. She sighed because it suddenly felt like her friend was referring to her. It took her back to how their friendship started to develop distance.

Ire’s roommate was a year above her when she resumed as a fresher. Her roommate introduced her (Ire) to her friend who always gave Ire all the past questions and text books she needed but Ire’s friends never knew.  She didn’t count it necessary to tell them because she felt it might mean her being too forward. They were new friends and being new wasn’t easy for Ire.

As time went on, Ire got to discover that her friends really needed past questions and text books especially for one of her friend who had issues with a basic maths course but she still did not see a reason to help out. Somehow, that friend got to know.

Ire continued to defend herself as she continued in her ways but this friend of hers was smart enough to discover that Ire was secretly deceitful, that Ire wanted friendship matters at her own convenience and how Ire will most times cover up her plans. It led to the development of distance.

The question is what made Ire do this? Even after coming to a realisation that her friend needed the materials, she still did not change her mind.

Ire was suffering from self-centeredness.

Self-Centeredness is being concerned with only one’s interest. The attitude of thinking and acting in a way that benefits only you. Only you as a me, a my and an I.

While some of us are guilty of self-centeredness in some areas in our lives, some are guilty in all areas. The fact is that whether in some or all areas, it is not a good attribute. It is a wicked act.

Self-centred people hardly accept they are self-centred in any way because even their thoughts have been patterned to think that everything they do should favour them. They most times do not care about other people’s feelings, as long as they get what they want, they are happy. Their opinion is final and no one can change what they feel is correct because they are loudly or quietly ready to always defend themselves. You might fall into these characteristics in one, more or all areas of yourself, check!

For example you are a person that when it comes to materialistic things or academics or even everything you do portrays you as the ‘’me, my and I’’, I tell you it’s very bad.

Self-centredness births insecurity and fear, you now have everything but you’re still not sure.

Laurie Sue quoted ‘’Underneath their self-centeredness, they are likely afraid of feeling flawed, powerless, unworthy or out of control’’

Not being a self-centred person doesn’t mean would be opened to a fault, it just means that in anything you do, you are able to make impact in an area or areas where you can and you have a heart that does not only think about what you feel is right but what you are sure is right because you can now learn and teach other people.

There is nothing to be self-centred about. Yes, there are several self-centred successful people but Michelle Obama said success isn’t about how much money you make; it’s about the difference you make in people’s lives.

Ire changed when she found out that all she felt was insecurity and lack of satisfaction even as she progressed. She was so willing to learn how to stay true and to show this her friend about her new self as she prepared for her second year but her friend transferred to another school.

Let our focus move from I to us.